Rites of Passage
Rites of Passage mark significant points on our religious journeys through life: events such as births, marriages and union ceremonies, declarations of membership in congregations, memorials, and more. Usually focused on particular individuals, ceremonies to celebrate these Rites of Passage are among the more rewarding and moving worship services a minister is privileged to share with others. These services are also among the more challenging to construct effectively, conducted as they generally are outside the context of regular Sunday morning corporate worship and focused on particular individuals while at the same time addressing themes universal to everyone attending the ceremony. Weddings and union ceremonies are in many ways the most celebratory Rites of Passage a minister engages in. Child dedications renew our hope for the future, and new member ceremonies our hope for our congregations' futures. Memorial services remind us that all human life is sacred, in both living and dying.
My approach to preparing Rites of Passage is grounded in Unitarian Universalist congregational polity. That is, my role as minister and adviser is to help the subjects --- partners, parents, family members --- create ceremonies that reflect their own beliefs, wishes, and words. Consequently, of the dozens and dozens of wedding ceremonies I have officiated to date, no two have been exactly the same. Each human being is unique and his or her Rite of Passage should reflect that uniqueness. To help couples prepare their wedding ceremony, I offer them a template to follow --- they are not starting from ‘scratch’ --- which they adjust, amend, and add to as much or little as they choose. For child dedications, including those performed during worship services, I dedicate each child individually. For memorials, I generally deliver the eulogy as the focal point of the service, which is rounded out by words of remembrances from family and close friends, as well as community remembrances from the congregation. Orders of Service illustrating the various Rites of Passage I have officiated --- weddings, child dedications, memorials -- are included here. .
Finally, within corporate worship life, there are other important Rites of Passage which I encourage congregations to include in their rotation of service on a regular basis. These corporate Rites of Passage include New Member Ceremonies, Coming of Age Ceremonies, end-of-the-year Appreciation Sunday for lay leadership, and more. Engaging the entire congregation in the celebration of these events which mark turning points for the many individuals in the congregation recognizes individual accomplishments and also inspires others to strive for the same accomplishments and Rites of Passage. Our communities become all the stronger when we celebrate together.
Examples of Orders of Service (click on titles for full text)
Child Dedications
- Order of Service: UU Reston: December 15, 2013: “Ceremonies of Welcoming”
- Text of Ceremony: UU Reston: December 15, 2013
- Bios of Children: UU Reston: December 15, 2013
- Order of Service: UU Reston: December 15, 2013: “Ceremonies of Welcoming”
- Text of Ceremony: UU Reston: December 15, 2013
- Bios of Children: UU Reston: December 15, 2013
Weddings and Commitment Services
- Order of Service: UU Reston, June 7, 2014: Pitluck - Schmitt
- Text of Ceremony: UU Reston, June 7, 2014: Pitluck - Schmitt
- Order of Service: UU Reston, June 7, 2014: Pitluck - Schmitt
- Text of Ceremony: UU Reston, June 7, 2014: Pitluck - Schmitt
Memorials
- Order of Service: UU Reston, February 8, 2015: Meg Stephens
- Order of Service: UU Reston, March 28, 2015: Mary Howard
- Text of Service: March 28, 2015
- Order of Service: UU Reston, February 8, 2015: Meg Stephens
- Order of Service: UU Reston, March 28, 2015: Mary Howard
- Text of Service: March 28, 2015
New Member Ceremonies
- Order of Service: UU Reston: March 23, 2014: “The Meaning of Membership in Free Religion”
- Text of Ceremony: March 23, 2014
- Bios of New Members: March 23, 2014
- Order of Service: UU Reston: March 23, 2014: “The Meaning of Membership in Free Religion”
- Text of Ceremony: March 23, 2014
- Bios of New Members: March 23, 2014
Coming of Age Ceremony in Worship
- Order of Service: UU Reston: June 14, 2015: “Pride in Personal Transitions”
- Order of Service: UU Reston: June 14, 2015: “Pride in Personal Transitions”